Maybe you can reduce every game that way, if you want to be a cynic. I am throwing numbers at other numbers and hoping that equation will yield the results that I want. Crusader Kings, at the end of the day, is a gloss that’s been thrown on a bunch of spreadsheets. I almost didn’t finish it! How could I-everything is buried under menus, everything takes over three clicks to get to, everything is just impossible to find. Even the tutorial mission they give you is almost impossible. Max said we should buy these guys a User Interface Designer, and to some degree I agree with him. At most what you’re doing is nudging a little here, fighting a little there. You could spend your entire game fast-forwarding and watching how the game calculates how history would turn out. I mean, the game doesn’t really give you any goals, or really any instruction. In Crusader Kings 2, you can play as anyone that is alive in 1066 AD, with the implicit goal of having your dynasty conquer and rule Europe, parts of Africa and parts of Asia. The most modern feature of Crusader Kings 2 is that it automatically saves every year, on January 1st. I was so used to progress bars, pop ups to tell you that you’ve gained experience, slyly worded copy to give me hints about how to play. I couldn’t tell if anything was happening. The first time I played this game it made me want to tear my hair out. “It was a good idea to have Wales take over the world,” he said, his little nation spanning Europe, with colonies in Africa and Asia. Just prior to me writing this, he texted me a video, set to “Started From the Bottom,” by Drake. Utter confusion, frustration, absolute obsession. Me and my friend Max both decided to try and tackle this game together, and had the same experience. I am now in self imposed exile from Crusader Kings. The next day, I played until the sun came up. Hours later, I installed it again, and played until four in the morning. The first time I played Crusader Kings 2, I uninstalled it.
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